Chirpin Pansies Rout Norms

The Team "Not-to-be-Named-in-this-Article-Because-They-Are-Pansies" that beat the Norms (now 5-5-2) 14-2 last Wednesday are quite possibly the worst 9-2-1 team in Class D Softball ever. That doesn't say much about the slumping Norms, a once proud franchise, but it says worse about the state of softball in Governor Tim Pawlenty's state of Minnesota.

"The game has changed a lot over the years. We are now using a yellow ball, a really heavy yellow ball, and teams don't have any balls at all anymore as far as I can see, stated Mookie."

"It's like that 9-2-1 team, what a bunch of pansies. The first time we played them with T-Snide, Kurtie, Knute, TJ, Daughts, and Derek, and they jump out to a 5-0 lead in the first inning. They start talking crap IMMEDIATELY! Then in the bottom of the first, they just shut-up, why? Because we dumped 11 on them, then we dumped 11 more, and so on... did they talk then? NO! They didn't start chirpin again, until they batted around in the 4th Inning of June 21st's game."

And talk they did. Leading 14-1, the "NOT TO BE NAMED TEAM" team goaded Mookie into a smack fest. A veteran pitcher of 15 years, it was very hard to let their disrespect go unnoticed.

"At one point, one the idiots over there, barked out to his batter that he should launch a bomb to end the game (Due to a 15-run mercy rule invoked by the City of Eagan's Parks and Rec Department)," said Mookie, "But I had to remind the little genius, that
1.they had already used the one HR per game alottment, and
2.that it would be fine by us if he launched one because it would be the last out of inning."

That exchange started some jawing, and soon the good natured rips turned into another umpire intervention where both teams were warned about further escalation.

"Ya, I can't shut up when people goad me, that's for sure. I am just not programmed to be anyone's rug. I F'n hate it when we can't retaliate with good softball- myself included in that- it drives me nuts. But those guys on the other team should remember that when we smoked them 25-5, we didn't talk at them at all. We just did it, shut up and let the play talk for itself. That's all I really wanted them to think about. I even asked them straight up, "Why can't you just shut-up and finish the butt kickin?'"

The Norms chances of winning the title this season are virtually nil. They must run the table, and win all 6 games, and hope for 4 losses or ties for 3 other teams ahead of them in the standings.