Norms Softball

Oh! Mar: A Feature Story From 1993, about Norms Alum & Former Gopher Omar Douglas

2007-05-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

Thursday, Sept. 2, 1993 ]
Oh! Mar
Gopher standout is excelling on and off the football field

By ANTHONY YACULLO
Collegian Sports Writer
Recruiters know it all. They study and they scout. They know every detail, past, present and future, about each of their prospects. They find the blue-chippers and discard the rest. They know it all.

So they must have known something when they passed up on Omar Douglas. Right? They said he was too small and too slow. They didn't want to take a chance on the kid from New Orleans.

Well, at 5-foot-10, he's not a giant. But slow? He runs the 40 in 4.32. He is a member of the Minnesota track and field squad.

Recruiters know . . . almost everything.

Omar Douglas, coming off a season in which he caught a Gopher record 61 passes for 669 yards, is now the key receiver in coach Jim Wacker's wide-open offense.

Too small, eh?

"I've always relied on my speed," Douglas says. "My speed and my mind. I'm a pretty good student in general -- that carries over in everything whether in the classroom or studying game films."

His 4.0 GPA in the winter and his nomination to the Academic All-Big Ten verify his prowess in class. Second-team All-Big Ten confirms his ability on the field.

See, Douglas likes to succeed. In everything. Hates losing. Absolutely abhors it. After Minnesota lost to Wisconsin last year, Douglas was a basket case.

"I didn't want to talk to anyone after that game," he remembers. "I went home, I was just lying around. I was disgusted, I was sick --physically sick -- for two days. I just couldn't believe it."

To Douglas, everything is a challenge. Whether it be playing Sega with his pals or trying to get an 'A' in a particular class, he is always striving for total victory.

"I love to compete," Douglas says earnestly, "with other people and myself. I always try to test myself. I say 'Omar, can you do this today?' And I go out and try to do it."

On Saturday, Omar will have to ask himself if he can handle the Lion secondary. He will tell you it is just another game. That he is ready for the challenge. But Minnesota is coming off their second consecutive 2-9 season. Penn State is the No. 17 team in the nation.

The thing, Douglas says, is that last year was not as bad a 2-9 season as 1991.

"The first season, before Wacker, things were falling apart, there wasn't a lot of togetherness," he says. "It was very difficult to get yourself up for a game."

Under the old regime, Douglas' big play potential was curtailed. He caught only eight balls in limited duty. "I can't do anything without the ball," he explains.

Then came Wacker, the man of infinite optimism. That season Douglas' production multiplied eight-fold. Did Wacker have an impact?

"Wooo," Douglas says with a laugh. "Unbelievably. He has given me a chance to showcase my abilities and find abilities I didn't know I had."

Under the tutelage of Wacker and a new strength coach, the Gophers have a new sense of purpose. They made mistakes, silly ones, like compiling an incredible amount of penalty yards. But they are what Douglas calls correctable mistakes.

Little Hurt Wins State Title, Big Hurt as Coach

2006-08-18T12:47:00.000-07:00

Mike "Hurt" Eckert, a Norms Hall of Famer, and MVP of the State Tourney Champion Squad in 1999, coached for the 10-year old travel squad who took the State 10AA Championship trophy home this weekend in Rosemount.

Eckert's son Bobby "Lil Hurt" Eckert was one of the stars on Minnesota's newest state champions and was named to the all-tourney team as a catcher. Not surprising it was a "Lil Hurt" key bunt for a hit in the Championship Game that broke the game open, leading to the tying and winning run against Mendota Heights.

Congratulations to the Eckerts!

Mercifully, The Season Ends, 8-8-2

2006-07-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

The thud hear round Eagan, was that 3-run walk-off homer that lifted the surging 6-10 Celts to a 15-13 win over the 8-8-2 Norms.

"That game was a microcosm of our entire season, we started out hot, then cooled off then laid a big fat donkey crap egg on our new cleats to end the season," commented a disgruntled 16-year Norm's veteran named Mookie, "Thunk. Peace Out, I am outta here."

It was the 3rd win in a row for the Celts, a team clearly on the rise.

"I like that team, they are pretty cool, their manager is named Mike (I think) and he told me after the game that it was the first homer they had hit all season, or maybe the first homer for that particular player or something."

The 2006 season for the Norms started with high hopes, signing a mix of World Champion veterans and young players from last year's 8-10 squad. A quick 5-0-1 start to the season proved to be fools gold as the once-proud franchise bogged down the stretch, going 3-8-1 to finish at .500.

"On paper our roster was solid, but paper don't win titles," stated Norms Manager Brent Anderson, "We must have had at least 30 guys shuffle in and out of line-up each week. It was confusing, mind boggling and frustrating, and the team played that way all season."

Headlines and Highlights for this year's team included:
Outfielder Derek Willis signed by the Saints, TJ's Norms Debute and clear Rookie of the Year Award, The Controversial Ump with a Napoleon Complex, MVP: Kelly Knudsen? The Lack of a Consistent Roster, The Complete and All-Out Bail-Out of Any Norm who had Ever won a Previous Title (SANS Mookie), Not Enough Interest/Spirit for a Fall Ball Squad, Smack talk, no back talk to answer for tower buzzes.

Recruiting forcecast for next year

Plain and simple, the Norms are looking for good players, who are willing to commit 1-2 hours a week to win some games. There is a core of players from this year's team who will be begged to return, and many prospects will be contacted from other organizations. This team is no longer a QWEST or West Pub team, it is an open team. There will be a sponsor, there will be monetary committment, and the goal will be to put a team together that can win a simple D League Open title, and maybe qualify for state by placing high at districts.

TJ, Kelly and Nellie have been offered full tenders, and their agents are consdidering the offers. Already under contract are Brent, Donny, Mookie, Jeffy J, Aaron Wright, and Bootie. The rest of the roster is up in the air right now. Donny has some guys who will be invited to camp next spring, and TJ might have some contacts, but he might be back in school, and looking to play some woodbat baseball, so his status is clearly up in the air. Quite frankly, We don't know who, from this year is interested in returning?. For those who think competition is fun, and would like to give it a shot, the first thing to do is let us know:

WANTED SOFTBALL PLAYERS

Beer Drinkers, hell raisers are welcome, but the bottom line, is that you gotta wanna win, and you gotta be willing to play hard.

Fill out the Prospective Norm Application.

Norms Championship Lineage Strikes YET Again!

2006-07-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

The Norms struggled down the stretch this year, but 2 of it's minor league affiliates have hit gold in the playoffs. Earlier we noted that the Farmington 10AA squad, coached by Mike Eckert won their state title, now we are learning that teams with other former/current Norms involved are winning little league titles too.

A 13-14 year old travel squad from Lakeville, MN who list Marcus "Mookie" Anderson as one of their assistant coaches and head of communications won the South Metro Baseball League Championship. The squad will appear on the field at the Metrodome in August. From the Lakeville NoSox Website:

"Big win in a contentious championship game where the opposing parents and coaches were hot... One of their players was ejected... and one Inver Grove mom just about got tossed from the field. The NoSox players just seemed to enjoy all the commotion and played better and better.

Inver Grove scored 2 runs on us in the top of the first, and were very aggressive on the bases. Our crowd was quiet and clearly worried as we came off the field, as they could see that the Inver Grove pitcher was throwing smoke. Our guys rose to the challenge and hit him hard including a key triple by Erik and we doubled their runs and came off with a 4-2 lead. We never surrendered that lead, and every time they scored in the top, we scored double in the bottom except for the fourth. Our pitcher-catcher dynamic duo dug deep, with NoSox quality defense behind them, and blanked them in the 5th, 6th, and 7th, while facing the heart of their order in the 6th and 7th. In all, the Hanson battery racked up 9 Ks. In the bottom of the sixth, aggressive base running and a triple by Kyle added two insurance runs which held to beat them 10-5, and the NoSox earned the title of Champions."

Speaking of Inver Grove, Normsofball.com recently heard that Hall of Fame 2B Keith Willaert is coaching both his daughters travelling softball league teams. With a state AAU basketball Championship already under his belt, Keith is now closing in on some girl's fast pitch titles. His youngest daughter Jen, is playing on a team with a good shot of winning the state title in a few weekends, and Brittany's squad recently just fell short of that goal.

If you know of other team or individual athletic success from former Norm's players, pelase contact our alumni@normsoftball.com e-mail.

St. Paul Saint's Derek Willis Rumored to Appear Tonight

2006-07-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

It has been reported to Normsoftball.com that former Norm and current St. Paul Saint, Derek Willis, may return to the ball park tonight to visit some of his old teammates in D League softball.

What Derek Has Been Doing Lately for the Saints

2006-07-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hey Norms, soon we all have to get on Saints bandwagon and go see what our former outfielder, Derek Willis, has been up to this summer. I did a search for the kid on the Saints website, and this is what showed up.

07/05/2006- COMEBACK FALLS SHORT AT SC

06/20/2006- EXTRA INNING MISERY IN ST. JOE

06/13/2006- HEROES APLENTY IN 8-2 WIN

06/12/2006-NOT EVERY CAR IN THAT ERA RAN WELL

Chirpin Pansies Rout Norms

2006-06-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

The Team "Not-to-be-Named-in-this-Article-Because-They-Are-Pansies" that beat the Norms (now 5-5-2) 14-2 last Wednesday are quite possibly the worst 9-2-1 team in Class D Softball ever. That doesn't say much about the slumping Norms, a once proud franchise, but it says worse about the state of softball in Governor Tim Pawlenty's state of Minnesota.

"The game has changed a lot over the years. We are now using a yellow ball, a really heavy yellow ball, and teams don't have any balls at all anymore as far as I can see, stated Mookie."

"It's like that 9-2-1 team, what a bunch of pansies. The first time we played them with T-Snide, Kurtie, Knute, TJ, Daughts, and Derek, and they jump out to a 5-0 lead in the first inning. They start talking crap IMMEDIATELY! Then in the bottom of the first, they just shut-up, why? Because we dumped 11 on them, then we dumped 11 more, and so on... did they talk then? NO! They didn't start chirpin again, until they batted around in the 4th Inning of June 21st's game."

And talk they did. Leading 14-1, the "NOT TO BE NAMED TEAM" team goaded Mookie into a smack fest. A veteran pitcher of 15 years, it was very hard to let their disrespect go unnoticed.

"At one point, one the idiots over there, barked out to his batter that he should launch a bomb to end the game (Due to a 15-run mercy rule invoked by the City of Eagan's Parks and Rec Department)," said Mookie, "But I had to remind the little genius, that
1.they had already used the one HR per game alottment, and
2.that it would be fine by us if he launched one because it would be the last out of inning."

That exchange started some jawing, and soon the good natured rips turned into another umpire intervention where both teams were warned about further escalation.

"Ya, I can't shut up when people goad me, that's for sure. I am just not programmed to be anyone's rug. I F'n hate it when we can't retaliate with good softball- myself included in that- it drives me nuts. But those guys on the other team should remember that when we smoked them 25-5, we didn't talk at them at all. We just did it, shut up and let the play talk for itself. That's all I really wanted them to think about. I even asked them straight up, "Why can't you just shut-up and finish the butt kickin?'"

The Norms chances of winning the title this season are virtually nil. They must run the table, and win all 6 games, and hope for 4 losses or ties for 3 other teams ahead of them in the standings.

Norms Sign Two Avoid Forfeit

2006-06-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

In a 12th hour like move, Brandon "Booty" Butorac reigned in 2 free agents to help the Norm's avert their first team forfeit in franchise history, signing Chad Nelson and Matt Hoese to 1-Day Contracts with team options for the remainder of the season.

"Booty just earned a stripe for 'chipping in during and off-field crisis,' stated Mookie Anderson, "That's one step closer to someday running the franchise."

According to scouting reports, and not yet confirmed "street cred" information, it is believed that one of the rookie signees plays OF, but is willing to play anywhere, is left handed, played RB for NDSU, and was rumored to be a steriod user. The other signee was a possible 3B canidate who once played for Hopkins, MN HS.

The Norms front office was just happy to get players on the line-up card for tonights game against the first place Gabriel Financial squad. At one point this morning, Head Coach Brent Anderson offered up this critical alert to all Norms Rostered players,

"Things are looking bad for players. Never thought I'd say this with a 20 man roster, but we just may have to forfeit tonight unless we scrounge up enough guys. We have NO players with any experience on the left side of the infield AND we play the team thats in 1st place. Anybody know anyone? If you do, its time to tap your resources. We need confirmations by 1ish or so."

He was immediately sent a note back from Mookie, stating, "No forfeitting, we'll go take it like men, and see what happens. This team has never forfeitted, and will not start now. I don't care if we are spanked red tonight, I will be there and I
will play SS if I have to."

For those who have never experienced a front-office player crisis like this, it may come as a surprise to learn that events like this are not uncommon.

"It think this is just a solid reminder on why it's fun to just be a player, and not have the BS responsibility of putting a team together," Stated Mookie, "It takes work, and trust that the players who sign up will actually show up. You are very lucky, very lucky as a manager if you have the same 10-12 guys showing up for 10-12 games every summer. It's rare, and the work that goes on behind the scenes to just put a roster together from week to week should NEVER go unnoticed."

So thanks to Booty and some front-office scrambling, the Norms should be able to field a healthy squad of 11 tonight.

Russian Grandpa Makes it as Porn Star at 75

2006-06-19T12:52:00.000-07:00

Ya, Norms, this is REAL: A 75-year-old grandad has become a porn star in Russia after wandering into a porn movie audition by mistake, Ananova said Wednesday.

David Bozdoganov wandered into the Gorodcki production company studios after mistaking posters for new erotic actors as an advert for a muscle man show.

Director Alexander Plahov said: “We were auditioning for a new film and had a number of couples simulating sex on stage when I saw this old guy standing at the back.

Source: http://mosnews.com/news/2006/03/22/grandpa.shtml

”I wandered over to ask him to leave, but then I saw this massive package straining against his trousers. I thought, “This could be an original idea”.

“And I was so right — all the movies we’ve made with David have been huge successes.”

The pensioner’s biggest hits have been The Old Neighbor and The Handyman at Work.

But Plahov added: “His female co-stars always complain because David believes in the beneficial power of garlic and insists on rubbing it on his erection before a scene, so it’s rather smelly.”

Still in the Hunt But Looking to Bust Slumps

2006-06-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

On paper, the 2006 Norms are still in the hunt for the league title, sitting only 3 pts back of the leader, Caspers Sports Barn. Wednesday night, the 5-3-1 Norms can close that gap closer when the the teams meet up for the 2nd time this year.

"This is not a should win, could win, situation," stated an anonymous Norms player from the front office, "This is a t-shirt game, a must win situation!"

The Norms, losers of 3 of the last 4 games, have been anemic on offense during that stretch, but still post the 2nd best "total runs allowed" mark.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure this out, we just need to go up there and fricking hit the ball hard somewhere. It's slow pitch, every one can see the ball, everyone should just chill out, and hit, and hustle. That'll do it."

Derek Willis Signs With St. Paul Saints

2006-06-13T07:13:00.000-07:00

It was just a matter of time before some professional organization would recognize tha talent from Norm's Centerfielder Derek Willis and sign him away. That time is now.

Derek, arguably the Norms fastest player in history was signed by St. Paul's minor league squad after they saw him at an open tryout in May.

"We are excited for Derek, and wish him all the best in his pro career," said teammate and webmaster Mookie Anderson. "We will be putting up a video tribute to him on the web site soon."

See Derek's Bio on St. Paul Saints website!

Losing: Sucks, but it's How You Lose That Defines...

2006-05-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

Losing Sucks, but it's how you lose that defines your team's character. A 12-1 ass kicking is not a good way to lose. Not at all!

After last nights disappointing loss, the Norms quest for an undefeated season came to a screeching hault and filled the squad ego full of pity and doubt. The game details will be posted later, but there are a couple things that bug me about the way this loss evolved

Here comes the rant:

1. If you say you will be at the game, show the f**k up at the game. Nothing worse then leaving your team hanging.
2. If you know you are playing, make arrangements to get your ass the park on time. Believe me, we have plenty of guys who want to play, but are afraid that they are taking someone's spot. Just give us the chance to contact them.
3. If you do by some miracle, manage to remember how to read the schedule, and note where the game is played, and have committed to showing up, then when you do take the field, FRICKING PLAY THE GAME! Ditch the skirt at home, or hike it up, and take the field and play.
4. One Run? One Fricking Run? Girls, this is slow pitch softball. There is no excuse for scoring just one run. Face facts, your heads where in your ass last night, and the last place you wanted to be was on Field #7 at Northview Field. This is not how champions survive. The dog games, the boring ones, the rainy crappy weather games where rotweilers are barking, and kids are crying, and dumbass forgot the beer, those are the games that still count in the standings.

We cannot afford to have too many more of those type of losses. I can handle losing, but last night was the WORST sofball game I have seen played by a team with the Norms jerseys on in years.

I hope you all hit your slumpbuster hang-out last night to shake the willies out your bats, because next week, there needs to be some more focus on the field.

We got some good wins in the bank, but that can soon be frittered away if you keep playing like last night.

I am just sayin...

Godfather, OUT

Norms sleepwalk, then cakewalk into first place

2006-05-19T16:10:00.000-07:00

5/17/06 (Eagan) - The Norms swept their way into first place with a pair of w's over a winless team and a previously unbeaten team in a doubleheader played at Lexington Diffley fields. The winless team proved to be a more difficult and worthy opponent in Game 1.

The fireworks in Game 1 came early. The Norms put up 4 runs in each of the first two innings and then coasted to a 9-5 victory over a pesky Celts Bar team. It was the kind of ho hum effort that could land the boys in hot water if they run into the wrong team on the wrong night. Newcomer but old school Norm Kurt Clark doubled, tripled and drove in 4 runs in his 2006 debut. Brent Anderson went 2-2 and knocked in two runs. Kelly Knutsen went the distance on the mound foru the Norms and was impressive, giving 4 of the Celts 5 runs in the 5th inning.

Game 2 was close, for an inning. The younger, cockier, trash talking Gabriel Financial club jumped out to a 5-0 lead after 1/2 an inning. They got NO MORE! The Norms went medieval on the Gabes and didnt let up. They responded with 6 runs in the home half of the first and followed it up with another 6 in the second, 5 in the third, and finished it off with and 8 spot in the 4th for an impressive, message sending 25-5 victory that vaulted them into sole posession of first place in the Wednesday night Red league. "By the third inning, they werent talking no more" said an exhuberant Donny Willis after the game. Jeff Johnson had a bolder opinion "We really took it to them and I believe sent a strong message that the Norms are the class of the Wednesday night league - dont ever mess with the NORMs, man". The Norms racked up 31 hits in the four short innings. TJ Albrecht, Mike Daughton, Mike Johnson, and Kelly Knutsen each went 4-4 in the second game. Jeff Johnson and Derek Willis (2 triples and an inside the park HR) had 4 RBI each. Mike Johnson, Daughton, Knutsen and Todd Schneiderhan drove in 3 runs each. Schneiderhan smoked a mammoth two run home run over the centerfield fence and onto Lexington Ave. Mookie Anderson shut the mouthy Gabes out after the first inning and gained the win. "This is what its all about, but I guarantee when we play those guys again, they'll remember this, it wont be this easy next time".

The Norms (4-0-1) return to action on Wednesday, May 24th with a single game against a very good Lemaster Restoration (3-2) team. Gametime is at 6pm at Northview Field #7.

Mookie returns, Norms rally for win.

2006-05-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

In the much anticipated return of Mookie, the Norms didnt give him much support - until late in the game. Aside from a botched pop-up, Mook looked like he never missed a day, letalone 2 entire years. The slimmed down, Norms Hall of Famer gave up 6 runs (3 earned at my count) and kept the Caspers hitters at bay in a very impressive complete game 7-6 comeback victory.

The Norms trailed 6-1 in the fourth when Kelly Knutsen laced a two out double to cut the lead in half. The 6-3 deficit carried into the top of the 6th. Brent Anderson legged out a potential inning ending double play and Aaron Wright and Jay Gregerson completed the comeback with consecutive run scoring singles and a 7-6 Norms lead. Mookie and the D did the rest and the slimmest of leads was never threatened. A solid bottom of the 6th was followed with a routine 1-2-3 7th and the Norms had their 2nd victory of the season and Mook had his first win in over 2 yrs.

The Norms (2-0-1) are back at it on May 17th, with a doubleheader against the Celts (0-3) at 6pm and Gabriel Financial (3-0) at 7pm at Lexington Diffley Fields

Norms rally for tie in opener; Gain blowout in game 2.

2006-05-06T07:38:00.000-07:00

The 2006 version of the Norms came out of the gates shaky, steadied the rig, and put the hammer down in the end. They rallied for a 17-17 tie against the more experienced MSSW squad in game 1 and hammered a weaker Team CHAOS 20-8 in game 2.

The Norms fell into a deep hole in game 1 as they fumbled, misjudged, kicked, booted and stunk their way to a 17-8 deficit after 4 innings. The bats came alive in the 5th and the Norms were aided by some questionable defense by MSSW late in the game. With 2 out and 1 runner on in the top of the 7th and trailing 17-13 the Norms got 3 straight hits from Aaron Wright, Jeff Johnson and Donny Willis, a walk from Chris Jones and another single from Jay Gregerson to tie it up. Eric Harre then came in to pitch the bottom of the 7th in relief of Brandon Butorac and earn the tie. The hitting heroes in game 1 were Kelly Knutsen, who finished 3-4 with a solo HR, 3 runs scored and 3 RBI. Mike Daughton was 4-4 with 2 RBI and 3 runs and Donny Willis and Gregerson finished with 3 hits apiece.

Domination was the word in game 2 as the Norms were never challenged. They jumped out with 8 runs in the top of the first and never looked back in a 20-8 blowout victory. TJ Albrecht led the charge with 5 hits and 4 runs scored. Knutsen added 4 more hits, including a 2 run HR and 4 RBI. Daughton, Jeff Johnson, and Donny Willis (Donny ballgame as some call him) racked up 3 hits apiece. Johnson added 3 RBI. Brandon Butorac went the distance on the mound and picked up the victory.

The Norms take their 1-0-1 record into a 6pm single game next Wednesday, May 10th against Caspers Sports Barn (1-1).

Norms Fans Pissed at 1-0-1 Start

2006-05-05T12:32:00.000-07:00

"A tie is liking kissing your grandma." One by one the Norms fans sent their disappointing e-mails & phone calls to the front-office.

"Hey man, how do you tie? Isn't that something they do in Girls soccer? What the hell?," Commented Jerry "Norm" Keating, the founder of the program.

"I hear that people wern't running shit out? That's like purposely over throwing the cut-off!"

The teams media department has yet to issue a press release to detail an eyewitness account of May 3rd's Opening Day, but there was some consolation to the analysis of the 1-0-1 start for Norms fans World Wide,

"Hey, the team can still go undefeated? Right?"

You know you're a softball junkie if…

2006-04-20T21:44:00.000-07:00

This was found on the web, and it merits re-publishing on this blog. You know you’re a softball junkie if…

1. Your bat costs more than the car you drive

2. You have your wedding at home plate

3. A cop asks to see your ID and you show him your "All Tourney MVP" trophy

4. You lose two games and get eliminated by noon, but call the old lady and say if we win this one we play at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow

5. One of the other bats in your bag is older than your shortstop

6. You will drive 7 hours in your truck for a 3-game guarantee, but can't drive 45 minutes to the in-laws due to mechanical problems/worries

7. The term "double-header" refers to that special weekend you and your roomie had with the local softball groupie

8. Your bat bag ever contains more beers than softballs

9. You've ever put more than 6 players in a single motel room to save expenses, and ended up with disabled furniture

10. You have ever pulled a jean-shorts wearing fan out of the stands to fill out your team and have him end up being the best player on your team

11. You spend more time writing your team's name over opponents on stolen softballs than you do in the hitting cages trying to get better (admit it, we've all been there)

12. You quit a decent job to avoid missing a good tournament

13. Your team cannot play in a big tournament, so you go out to the ballpark anyway, and walk around with your bag, looking for a short-handed team

14. The only way you can remember the year your niece was born is to remember that it caused your brother missed the regionals in little rock

15. You get more upset about your roommate using your Miken without permission than you did when you found out he was nailing your sister

16. You bail teammates out of jail, but only to avoid being playing short-handed

17. You drive 30 hours to Key West for a family vacation, and end up umpiring in their winter league while you’re there

18. You get in the losers bracket, play the last game Saturday night, stay at the park and drink beer, it gets real late, so you go to the master bracket, see what field you play on the next day, and go sleep in that dugout

19. You treat your bat like the jeweled scepter of Czar Nicholas, but your glove is 17 years old and held together by shoestrings, speaker wire, and cable-ties

20. As you and two teammates finish off the third case of beer of the day, you suggest that a player on an opposing team would be pretty good if he didn’t drink so much.

21. You think a player who chases bad pitches has a more severe character flaw than a drug addict or an embezzler

22. You know "Demarini" is not the place you launch your bass boat on the weekend

23. You think the four basic needs of life are seeds, Gatorade/beer, hot dogs, and icy hot

24. You know that "hitting to opposite field" or “going both ways” or “switch hitter” isn't being gay

25. You know that a p-rod is not something you expose to a softball groupie after you’ve had a 12 pack

26. Your cleats have more JB Weld on them than they do rubber

27. You asked your wife to marry you on your second date, but need four team meetings to decide which infielders you are going to invite to next year's tryouts

28. You have played in the church league for 6 years, but are not real sure which town the church is located in

29. You left your wife, and your 29-minute-old firstborn, at the hospital with the words “gotta go, we’re in the finals of the winners bracket”

30. You're more upset over one your players just up and leaving the team than you are by your wife/girlfriend just up and leaving you.

31. Your wife/girlfriend has learned that in order to have a conversation with you, she must preface it with, "how'd you hit?"

Current Roster, April 20, 2006

2006-04-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

The Current Norms 2006 Roster as of April 20, 2006. We will have a full contact sheet with the names, phone #'s, jersey #'s etc. in the first few weeks of the season. Make sure you keep the data on the contact sheet confidential. The info should be used for TEAM business only (no drug deals, date steals, or things of that nature.)
Name(Jersey #)
Brent Anderson 40
Marcus Anderson 33
Brandon Butorac 22
Jon Casselman 0
Mike Daughton 19
Jay Gregerson 10
Dave Heupel 21
Jeff Johnson 16
Chris Jones 35
Tim Jorgensen 5
Kelly Knutson 24
Ryan McCausland 29
Todd Schneiderhan 34
Bruce Werner 11
Derek Willis 43
Donny Willis 3
Lance Wuollet 54
Aaron Wright 8
Mike Wright 2

Practice Sun. April 30/ Beer Bash Following

2006-04-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

We have scheduled a practice for Sunday, April 30th at 1230pm at Northview Complex in Eagan. It will run until about 230 and then those who want to go over to Joe Senser's for the beer bash can go. If you have any questions, let me know.

Calling All Norms Alumns (REUNION?)

2006-04-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

The Norms would like to announce the creation of a unique "Alumni" page on their website, and are calling for all past & present Norms to visit the page and contribute.

"It's been almost 20 years since the guys like Jerry Keating, Tom Garrity, Quinn Villari, Tom Theobald, Charles McCarthy, and Dave Rysavy started popping gloves, so it's time we get these slugs back together and find out what's been goin on, " commented Mookie Anderson.

"I am trying like heck to get a directory of Norms players past and present., so I can at least put together the final version of the media guide, and add some last chapters to the re-edit of e-NORM-us Softballs (The Norms DVD)."

Anderson would like to create the story of the Norms, with voiceovers from players who played for the team and possibly enter it into some local indie films expos.

"I think the story is unique, and there is no better way to tell history than from those who lived it."

If you know of anyone who has played, for the team, please forward the e-mail address and web page to them.

Your info will be sent to Marcus "Mookie" Anderson in Lakeville, MN, who would like to create a directory and contact everyone about future alumni events/parties. Thank you for submitting your information.

Norms Schedule 2006 Released

2006-04-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

The Norms released their 2006 Schedule which features a prime-time double-header on opening night, and 2 Late Night Double-dips with fireworks in May & July.

The Norms will face MSSW on Eagan's Northview field #4 at 6 PM, May 3rd, and then host CHAOS at 7 PM.

The Late Night games will be May 31st at 8 & 9PM and then again on Wed. July 19.

The Norms close the season on July 26 in a battle with the Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Big Chief and the other CELTS.

Stay on line for future Norms game day promotions!

Norms Pitcher-Catcher Relations

2006-04-13T11:09:00.000-07:00

Stolen From the web, and rewritten in Norms English:
The time honored term "battery" defines the relationship between the pitcher and catcher. A battery in military terms describes a group of artillery pieces which by definition deliver missiles to a target. Possibly the term itself goes back to Civil War times when a "good game of ball" was played by soldiers of both sides as a favorite form of recreation. In any case, the relationship between the pitcher and catcher is crucial to a successful beer league team.

Compatibility

Catchers have the tough job of keeping pitchers motivated and emotionally stable while on the mound. They are ultimately responsible for pitcher productivity. It's the catcher who should call the signals, and the pitcher who should just laugh and throw the shit over the plate. A good catcher will shut up and and throw the ball back to the pitcher fast to keep the game moving. Catchers need to be able to compliment their pitcher on good pitches, good plays, and good games, but they should generally shut up after that.

Skills

To make this relationship work, both the pitcher and catcher must be able to perform their respective skills satisfactorily. Repetitive successful skills execution, in competition, will build winning team confidence for all. Catchers have to be able to receive the ball. This is not difficult in slow pitch, but it can be dangerous to have to catch a slow pitch fould tip. Most importantly catchers must want the responsibility and want to play catcher, but they are often just throw ins behind the plate and this can piss off a prima dona pitcher.

Pitchers have to be able to throw, and throw slow arched pitches. Their pitches must consistently be in and around the plate. Ideally they must be able to throw strikes on command, throw the requested pitch on signal, and pitch confidently to locations. Pitchers must be able to field the position. This requires concentration

Opposing Player Ability

Strategically, the battery has a number of situational things to consider as they work together on controlling the game. They must live within the framework of each other's ability. Whether the pitcher features spin or ball movement pitches, or uses a combination of both, all this will influence catcher signal calling patterns. Knowing your pitcher's best pitch (THE HEIDI HO) and when to use it (IN GUSTY WIND CONDITIONS) and/or when your pitcher has confidence in using it, is fundamental to getting batters out.

Both the pitcher and catcher have to be taught to think in a parallel fashion when confronted by these things. The pitcher must also be confident of her pitches.

Controlling Game Situations

The battery must always be aware of the game situation. This includes devising strategies to deal with the prospect of runners on, number of outs, score, inning, who's up in the batting order, where they hit last time, and how their team is playing. Utilization of pitch outs or easily handled fastballs may put some crimp in base stealing with the winning run on first and one out. Utilizing drops or low balls are designed to get that ground out with runners in scoring position.

Outside Forces

It goes without saying that umpires (DICKHEADS) have a direct effect upon what kinds of pitches are called. Depending upon their strike zones and their individual calling strengths and weaknesses, the battery must consider using the best pitch to throw in a very crucial situations. With the score tied, bases loaded, and the count 3-2, the battery may want to call a pitch location which the umpire has consistently called a strike throughout the game.

A good battery will take advantage of what you can get and what the umpire is calling. If he or she is consistently calling inside strikes a little off the plate and missing every outside but on the plate strike, the situation of what to call or not call frequently is obvious. The battery must adjust to the officials and not just complain.

Working together, a good battery can deliver its missile on target every time with maximum effect. Teamwork and communication are essential. As a pitcher's and catcher's relationship (BUYING EACH OTHER SHOTS) and mutual trust develop, joint game strategy discussions should and will become routine. If that confidence is missing, it will be a long season and chances of it being a winning one are slim and none. They must be able to communicate with each other and be able to work together with mutual respect.

Opening Day Countdown: 20 Days!

2006-04-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

On May 3rd the Norms Softball program will kick off it's 19th consecutive Opening Day in double-header fashion! The squad will play at 6 PM and an 7 PM on Field #4 at Northview Park in Eagan.

Other Dates to remember
4/30/06 - Practice at Northview in Eagan from 1-230pm. Not required, but encouraged.
4/30/06 - Beer bash at Joe Sensers in Eagan from 3-4pm. Not required, but encouraged (free appetizers and food with a ticket).

Power Hitting Tips From Hall of Famer Norm Keating

2006-04-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

1.What are the best exercises to increase hitting power? Beer and Plumbing, but if you can't do those, the next best thing is to do squats! That's right, squats are one of the best exercises to increase hitting power. Your entire body will benefit from this powerful movement.

If you can't do squats, try leg presses or weighted dips. They are great for developing power in triceps, chest, deltoids ... important muscles for hitting. Use compensatory training, i.e.: train with explosiveness! You're trying to increase your bat speed ... you need to train with explosive, fast movements rather than slow, deliberate training.

If you want more info on this type of training, get The Secrets of Explosive Power by Dr. Softballs ... a great book for athletic power training!

2. Accelerate the bat through the ball. You lose bat speed when the bat makes contact with the ball. The key is to accelerate as you are hitting the ball explode the bat through it!!

3. Maintain a loose grip on the bat. This will help you can gain 5 miles per hour of bat speed and 5-10 miles per hour of ball speed. Keep them hands loose cuz! Your body won't let you let go of the bat. If you have tension in your hands, it's going to cost you bat speed.

4. In slo-pitch softball, you must have a complete range of motion when you are hitting. You gotta have that bat back as far as you can get it because you want to get as much momentum going as you can. When that front foot comes down, that's your signal to go. This gives you as long a swing as possible. Don't give up the swing once you make contact - that's when you have to power it.

5. For training in the gym for strength, train 40 minutes per session at most. Concentrate on core exercises that train the major muscle groups. You can train three times a week and make sensational improvements.

6. Weight training: Here is a great general system to try that takes very little time and will work wonders for you: 2 times per week do dumbbell bench presses, 2 sets of 8. Followed by dips, 2 sets to 12. When you can do 12, add weight via a weight belt. Follow that with 2 sets of 8 military press (dumbbells, followed by 2 sets of eight dumbbell rows, next chin ups (palms up), End it with bicep curls and you're done!

7. Work out with a T-Snide Chute-Speed Training Device. The Chute-Speed is a scientifically proven training device that keeps all the resistance directly behind the bat head. This forces the hitter to keep their hands out in front of the bat and maintain their speed as they make contact with the ball. The Chute-Speed is a product that not only dramatically increases a softball players' strength and bat speed, but also naturally improves hitting technique.

8. When making contact with the ball, do not lose site of it. Keep your eyes on that little white ball and you will kill it!

9. Don't forget to get into a bad mood before a game. When you go up to bat, don't be nervous, get angry and focus all your energy on nailing that ball over the fence.

Oh, and most of the tips from this article were stolen from resources on the web.

Norms JV Team Batting Tips

2006-03-27T11:43:00.000-08:00

Accelerate as you hit the ball - don't slow down while you hit the ball. Acceleration through the ball maintains your bat speed, which helps the ball to jump off your bat

Maintain a loose grip on the bat - don't squeeze the handle tightly. Tension in your hands will reduce your bat speed, causing a loss in power.

Keep your eyes on the ball - don't lose contact with the ball as you hit it. See the ball clearly as the bat hits the ball

Push with your back (top) hand while pulling with your front (bottom) hand. The push gives you better power and follow-through while the push adds energy to the swing. Don't forget to do both - PUSH AND PULL

Release the top hand in the follow through - this adds extension to the swing which will give you more power

Keep your hands in front of the bat - throw your hands at the ball so the bat head is the last thing to go through the strike zone

Shift your weight from your back foot to your front foot. This will increase power

Hold the bat with the knob in the palm of your hand, with the pinky of your bottom hand off of the bat. This will improve your leverage, and increase bat speed

Know where you like the ball to be when you hit it - then wait for that pitch. To find your spot, go to the cages...

Keep your head down - start the swing with your chin on your front shoulder, end with your chin on your back shoulder.

Don't worry to much about your hips, elbow, etc. Concentrate on keeping your hands relaxed, and generating bat speed. The rest will follow.

Current Roster, March 27, 2006

2006-03-27T08:25:00.000-08:00

Norms Spring Training Roster as of March 27. 2006. This list includes players listed as subs and as full-time. A payment of $30 from each player assures a player of a jersey with choice of roster # (based on team seniority) and playing time. The $30 can be a donation from said player, or from contributions to said player from their selling of a 15-page $2 apiece entry book for our team raffle to be held in late April at Joe Sensers.

Brent Anderson
Marcus Anderson
Tim Jorgensen
Eric Harre
Jay Gregerson
Jeff Johnson
Lance Wuollet
Brandon Butorac
Aaron Wright
Ryan McCausland
Chris Jones
Mike Daughton
Kelly Knutson
Todd Schneiderhan
Dave Heupel
Kurt Clark
Bruce Werner
Derek Willis
Jon Casselman
Dan Ferris

April 30: Beer Bash & Raffle is Set (From Coach Brent)

2006-03-27T08:23:00.000-08:00

The Raffle tickets are in. For all you Thomson/West guys - I will give them to Marcus. Hes on vacation this week. I'll give them to him this weekend and you will have them on Monday. Unless you want to make other arrangements. If somebody does, let me know and I'll see what I can do. The cost of the tickets are $2 apiece. You can choose to just buy the whole pack for $30, or you can sell them. Remember, if you can get more than $2 thats even better. Just the required donation to purchase a ticket is $2.

The beer bust is on SUNDAY, April 30th from 3-4pm. I'm not very happy about this, but I cant do anything. Its free food and beer for 1 hr and the prizes are ok. You do NOT have to be present to win anything.

I need $$$$ to buy shirts, so the faster you can sell the tickets, the better off we'll be. I understand the Thomson/West guys will be behind a little, but I really need the Qwest guys to step up on this. Thanks

4. If you have any questions or someone is missing on this list, please let me know. Here is who I have on the roster for this yr. Again, we play on Wednesday nights in Eagan starting on May 3rd.

From Billy-Ball.com (about Kirby)

2006-03-07T12:26:00.000-08:00

Today is not the day to remember the repeated allegations of sexual improprieties by Kirby Puckett, today let us remember the ball player who for 12 years brought a joy to the game of baseball. When we looked at the rotund 5-foot-8, 230-pound body of Puckett we didn’t see the classic athletic build of his teammate Dave Winfield, we saw one of us. We saw what could have been one of the guys who we play ball with Sunday afternoons in the park.

That is until we saw what the man could do with a baseball.

He brought joy and pleasure not only to his legions of Minnesota Twins fans who adored watching Puckett, but to fans of every team. He was no Joe DiMaggio look alike in centerfield but when Puckett retired following the 1995 season, with a .318 career average, it was the highest career batting average for a right-handed batter since DiMaggio retired with a .325 average.

In his very first game in the majors, he had four hits and by the time his career came to a premature end he had hit 207 home runs, drove home 1,085 runners and stole 134 stolen bases. He finished with 2,304 hits and his 2,040 hits in his first 10 years were more than any other player in the 20th century.

Every year seemed to bring another year of brilliance. In 1986, he was an All-Star, Gold Glove winner, and Silver Slugger, playing in 161 games for the second straight season while hitting .328 to finish 3rd in the league (to Wade Boggs), 3rd in the league in slugging (to Don Mattingly), 2nd in runs (to Rickey Henderson), 2nd in hits and total bases (once again to Mattingly), and his 31 homers were 6th (to Jesse Barfield). In that year, NBC announcer Bob Costas jokingly promised that if Puckett was batting over .350 when his child was born he would name his kid Kirby. That’s the story behind Keith Kirby Costas.

Somehow that season paled in comparison the following year when Kirby again was an All-Star, Gold Glove winner, and Silver Slugger and hit .332, led the league in hits, finished 3rd in total bases, and hit 28 homers as he drove home 99 runs. But Twins fans can barely remember the regular season of Puckett after his .357 batting average led the Twins to a seven-game victory over the St. Louis Cardinals in one of baseball’s great World Series.

In 1988, Puck hit .356 with 24 home runs and 121 RBI, and for the second straight season finished third in MVP voting. The next year he “slumped” to .339, only good enough to win the batting crown.

1990 brought a rare year for Puckett hitting under .300 when he finished at .298 and the Twins finished in last place, but Kirby was just setting up his fans for a fabulous 1991. Kirby was in year six of his 11 straight All-Star appearances, and he won his fifth of six Gold Gloves. His .319 batting average was good enough for 8th in the league and he led his Twins from a worst-to-first rebound into the post-season.

In 1991, the Twins first faced the favored Toronto Blue Jays in the American League Championship Series and Minnesota prevailed in 5 games. Puckett hit .429 with two home runs and six RBI to win MVP honors. But while America was answering Michael Jackson’s musical question “Black or White”, the Twins were singing the praises of Kirby in arguably one of the greatest World Series of all time. The Atlanta Braves had also climbed from last place the previous year to reach the Series versus the Twins and held a three games to two lead entering Game 6. In the 3rd inning, Puckett made one of the Series great defensive plays making a leaping catching against the plexiglass wall of the Metrodome robbing Ron Gant of extra bases. Fast forward to the bottom of the 11th and Puckett leading off for the Twins facing Charlie Liebrandt, "And we'll see you... TOMORROW NIGHT!" was the call made by Jack Buck in describing the greatest walk-off homer in Twins history. The next night in Game 7, Minnesota's Jack Morris and Atlanta's John Smoltz engaged in spectacular pitching duel with Black Jack winning 1-0 in 10 innings to give the Twins the championship.

Puckett played on, and played brilliantly, even winning the RBI title in 1994. But, almost exactly 10 years ago, on March 28, 1996, Kirby Puckett woke up that Spring Training morning unable to see in his right eye. Diagnosed with glaucoma, this bright star’s career was over. At the press conference announcing his retirement, Puckett said, "I was told I would never make it because I'm too short. Well, I'm still too short, but I've got 10 All-Star games, two World Series championships, and I'm a very happy and contented guy. It doesn't matter what your height is, it's what's in your heart."

We look at this round little ballplayer and we remember that he was the last player to hit for the cycle for the Twins. We recall that he had six hits in a game…twice. He was the last player to win three consecutive hits titles, and one of only three AL players ever to have done it. He was on the 1986 All-Star team with fellow Hall-of-Famer Dave Winfield; and in 1987 with Cal Ripken; 1988 he again played with Rickey Henderson; 1989 with Bo Jackson; 1990 with Mark McGwire; 1991 with Ken Griffey, Jr.; 1992 with Robbie Alomar; 1993 against Barry B*nds; 1994 with Pudge Rodriguez; and 1995, against Tony Gwynn, just to name a few of the stars who were hardly his peer. But whomever Puckett played with or against, Kirby held more than his own, he held your attention, he brought a smile to your face, he gave you hope and faith in the game he loved.

Puckett said, "Baseball doesn't owe me a thing. I owe my whole life to baseball." Today, baseball, and all of us who were touched by his luminosity should remember how much we owe Kirby for all the pleasure he brought to the game, and nothing more than that.

Puck We Miss You Already

2006-03-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

I can't believe the news today. I can't close my eyes and make it go away... Kirby Puckett, the greatest Minnesota Twin of all time, our hero growing up, a World Series champion, the little engine that could, did, and then would do again, is gone. The keys on my computer can't type words fast enough to explain my thoughts. The keys are crying as my emotions are scattered. I look for words that could possibly explain the loss to the Minnesota Sports World, but all I find is "Where have you gone Kirby Puckett?"

You see Puck was more than just an icon, Kirby was Minnesota baseball, he was the standard that all fans in the Midwest aspired to be. He was a great character, a fire plug. The Yankees had solution Joe and the Mick, the Red Sox had Yaz, and the Twins had the Puck. We had the Puck.

Today I showed up for work with the heaviest heart since the loss of Vikings Offensive Tackle Korey Stringer. Kirby was in dire state, suffering from a stroke. By all accounts, the man who gave us "See yah Tomorrow Night" had met his final "Yesterday."My morning coffee buddy could tell that I was not the same, and asked what was wrong. When I told her of my sorrow, she just sort of scoffed and said, "You mean you are sad for that wife beater?" I don't recall any court of law EVER convicting Kirby of any sort of thing.

I was shocked. Words avoided me all day. To hear that this was someone's only impression of Mr. Puckett a such a dire time, was as crass as it could get. It saddens me to think that this great baseball man could only be thought of in those terms, by many who would easily put him in the same category as O.J. Simpson. The man was fighting for his life.

I am sure the beating he took by the Minnesota court of public opinion after an acquittal of sexual harassment charges took its toll on the man. I am very sad about that. Kirby has always been one of my favorite sports guys of all-time. He brought Minnesota it's only REAL World Titles, and the community shunned him when they thought he was a fake, when he needed them most. The alledged wife beatings, and cheatings and all that, to me are just that. It's sad to see how his private life (what is true, what is not, what can be proven, what cannot) is ultimately what people will remember.

But I will always remember "Puck" as that dude who came over to a college student sitting alone by the Twins bullpen. He was jogging in from leftfield after shagging flies, and I called out, "Hey Puck!"

He nodded, and turned direction, catching me off guard as he ran right to where I was sitting.

"What's up big guy?" He asked now just a few feet away from me. I had nothing, I was just flabbergasted by the unexpected friendliness, "What do you want me to sign?"

I was wearing a Watertown, SD VFW hat, so I quickly pulled it off my head and offered it up.

"You got a pen?"

I was busted, and had to confess that I really didn't have anything. He started laughing, and clearly sensing my nervousnes quickly calmed me down like he would do for so many fans who he treated as equals.

"That's okay man, I'll just hang out here for awhile and there will a ton of kids with sharpies and stuff."

"So VFW huh? Do you play?"

"No, I was a coach."

"How did you guys do this season?"

We struck up a nice little 15 second or so conversation about VFW baseball, and soon enough, as predicted, a crowd of kids had migrated to us.

"See, I told you! Do any of you kids have a pen, so I can sign this guys VFW hat?"

I will never forget that whole short conversation. How it was that he ended up signing my hat and laughed with me about how funny it was that I didn't have a pen. It was that same guy, with that same disposition that put all of his teammates at ease when they needed it most; that clutch hit, the south side slang, a joke, a rub on the bald head, that intangible leadership, the home run stealing catch over the hefty bag, that rare thing called poise. You can't teach it, you can't acquire it, you just have it.

Kirby had it and needed more than anybody. He needed that adoring Minnesota Public, the fans he once called, "The Greatest fans in the World" more than life itself. Minnesota was Kirby's state, he earned the right, but guess what? When he needed it most, the land of 10,000 lakes turned its back on him.

He left his job in the Twins front office and moved to Arizona, to the land of retired baseball players. He had his rings, and Hall of Fame plaque and commnity awards, but he did not have his adoring public. Instead, Kirby must of felt as if his World had eaten him away.

In rare public appearances at Timberwolves games, or celebrity charity events, people were noticing that Kirby was growing in physical stature. As his body ballooned, his prominence as a baseball icon shrunk to nearly nothing. He was invited to Twins baseball events like Twinfest and the Winter Caravan tours, but he chose to stay out of the public eye.

Tonight, tomorrow and for the next week, local TV stations and dorky radio talk show hosts who publicly despise the game of baseball, will attempt to eulogize Kirby Puckett. I don't need them to remind me of how great Kirby was to all of us in this state, I need them to just shut up and let the baseball world speak for the Puck.

2006 Norms Promo nights announced.....

2006-02-01T09:01:00.000-08:00

The following are a list of Norms special events/promo nights that were recently announced for the upcoming 2006 softball season.

1. Brats by Bodie's Pond Night (Opening Day Double-header Night)
2. "e-Norm-us Softballs" special Drive-in screening
3. Premium Beer "Cannonball" Night
4. Meet the Plumber Night
5. I Sang My ass off at the Valley Night (Karaoke Event at Eagan's Valley Lounge) with wives, dates, or both
6. Win a Date with Brandon Butorac Night
7. Johnny Rogers Look-a-like Contest
8. Revamping of the 5th Annual Norms Open Golf Outing
9. Posing with the Hardware Night (TBA the night we clinch the division)

Dates for the promos have yet to be announced.

The Latest In Recruiting News for 2006

2005-12-29T13:31:00.000-08:00

I am CC'ing the guys who expressed interest, and were sent the original "reunion-like e-mail" back in November to keep them in the loop.

Here's the latest in response to Daughton's e-mail:

We will most likely be playing in Eagan on Tuesday Nights. This is an Open D League, and will not be a West or Thomson League. If anyone knows of players who would be wanting a night of softball on Tuesday Nights, let me know.

So far, my brother, Brent will be managing the team, and is bringing back some players from QWEST (they finished 8-10 last year, and showed promise). I am hoping to play again. In November, I sent out the recruiting e-mail and asked several Old Schoolers if they would be interested. Of those, I received luke-warm responses from:

Dave Heupel
Bruce Werner
Kurt Clark
Todd Schneiderhan
and now
Mike Daughton

We still need to confirm status of each player, including the retiree Hall of Famers (Keith Willaert and Hurt Eckert) That's potentially 6 old school Norms, to combine with 8 or so QWESTies. The roster make-up needs to be finalized here soon. My brother, Brent, is handling that . I am hoping to deliver at least 3 full-time old school Norms, and 2 or 3 full-time subs to the mix. The Norms need to win that league. It has to be done, old legs, fresh lungs and all.

I talked to Scotty at the Valley a few weeks ago and he said he might be interested in helping us with a sponsor. However, since the other Valley Lounge team has been winning that Eagan League, he doesn't want to ruin any relationships with that squad. I asked when I could pick up pur World Champion and State Champion plaques that were removed from the Valley's walls when they remodelled, and he told me stop by anytime and he would look for them. The door is open, and I want to make this work, with a sponsor or without.

You will all be hearing from Brent or myself soon. In the meantime make sure to add http://www.normsoftball.com to your bookmarks, check out the new Hall of Fame section, and get ready for some softball

FYI: This year's uniforms might be black and white with the retro 1994 Norm's logo. You can see a mock-up on the cafepress Norms store http://www.cafepress.com/normsoftball

Mook

Norm's 50-50 on Veteran Qwest Mix for 2006

2005-11-10T11:23:00.000-08:00

The initial response from Norm's veterans as to a return to the team for the 2006 season was lukewarm at best. Nobody out and out committed themselves to the cause, but veterans Mike Eckert, Kurt Clark, Dave Heupel, Marcus Anderson and Bruce Werner all left their options open. Keith Willaert and Todd Schneiderhan did not indicate a preference at all, and Sean Conway all but ruled out a return, citing previous committments to other teams.

This does not rule out a merger, but the Norm's front-office has told Head Coach Brent Anderson to recruit a full roster for 2006 of up to 10 players. If more committment from veterans can be obtained, this status will change all players will be notified.

Hot Rumor: Norms 2006 will Feature Old School and New School

2005-10-03T17:55:00.000-07:00

The rumor on the street is that next year's Norm's squad will feature a mix of "40 Something" Hall of Famers and "20 Something" New Jacks from this past seasons Qwest based squad. The roster is not final by any means, but the organization is looking for the '05 Manager Brent Anderson to recruit at least 5 young buck players from Qwest to place on a team with experienced champions to be signed by Mookie Anderson- who incidentally will return to the mound. Expected to be invited back for another season are Norms veterans Todd Schneiderhan, Bruce Werner, Mike Eckert, Keith Willaert, Dave Heupel, Kurt Clark, and Sean Conway.

If this plan is effective, look for the Norms to commit to a Tuesday Night or Wednesday Night D league at Eagan, Minnesota's Northview Fields. Please contact the Norms front office with any questions or contract issues.

An ode to the Professional Softball Player

2005-08-08T08:55:00.000-07:00

Allow me to introduce myself. I am the best fucking softball player you have ever met. Just ask the opposing teams in the four leagues I am in this summer. I flat out rake. You could populate a small country with all the pitchers I've taken deep.

I just spent three hours in the batting cage and hit the shit out of the ball. Line drives, big flies, opposite field shots. I can do it all. Some kids next to me in the cages were staring and pointing at me. I can’t blame them. They’ve probably never seen a 40 year-old man wearing Oakley Blades and batting gloves who can hit bombs like me. Especially not with shorts this tight.

This season, I’m making sure we sweep all 4 leagues. Especially the Men’s League at St. Anthony’s. We were two outs away from winning that baby last year and now I can taste it. I’ve gotta get my hands on that 10-foot plastic trophy. It’s all I think about. Rumor has it the league winners get 2 free pitchers at Murphy’s Pub after the season. No way we lose with the trophy and 78 ounces of Busch on the line.

I just bought all new equipment for this season. You should see the acrylic baseball pants I got. Super tight. I picked up a new set of wristbands, a tube of eye black and a pair of 3-inch mud cleats, you know, just in case I need to break up a double play. I also got my hands on a $350 titanium bat for a little extra power. It cost me a week’s pay, but screw it, when I start cranking 400-foot shots it will be worth it. Plus I might need it to beat off all the trim that will be chasing me after the games.

Softball groupies love guys who can go deep.

I can’t wait for that first at bat. I’m bringing a tape deck to the game, so that I can blast The Scorpions when I walk to the plate. Nothing gets me fired up to play ball more than The Scorpions. Except maybe AC/DC, but I save that for the playoffs.

I feel sorry for the other teams. They have no idea what I’m about to unleash on them. Actually, I don’t feel sorry for them. You think that anyone felt sorry for me when that bastard coach cut me from the 8th grade baseball team? You think Babe Ruth or Dave Kingman felt sorry for the other team when they took them deep?

They should have known better than to get into a league with me. This year I’m focused. I practiced like a son of a bitch in the winter and got the call to play third. That’s right, the hot corner. Only the best play the hot corner. I have to be sharp, so no more beer during the games. I’m going to wait until after the game to starting pounding cold ones and I’m still going to drink you under the table.

My initials might as well be M-V-P. That stands for Most Valuable Player for all you non-softball players. The League starts Tuesday night. I took the day off of work.
Why do I take softball so seriously? Fuck you. You’re just jealous.

EDITORS NOTE: Recently Norms alumn, Moose Mulcahy forwarded an article from Josh Bacoot at Barstool Sports. It nails it, captures the fun of making fun of the guys who take softball waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too serious. You know the type? The ones who make up websites about their teams, themselves, and talk about how many homers they hit for their "real teams?" Well, it's all in fun, and it's in good humor

Norms Win, Finish 8-10

2005-08-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

The Norms easily won the finale of their Tuesday night Eagan league, defeating Valley Lounge/MHC 12-3. Brandon Butorac earned the player of the night game ball by making his softball pitching debut and not walking anyone and collecting 4 hits at the plate in the process. Derek Willis returned from a month hiatus from parts unknown and drove in 4 runs. The Norms finished the season 8-10 and now look to Richfield for a possible fall ball league.
In a year filled with one run games and lots of excitment, the highlight of the year was handing League Champ Valley Lounge Orioles 2 of their 4 losses. Ironically, the Orioles also handed the Norms their worst defeat. Other than that, every game was close and competitive. With a year under their belt, the Norms plan on returning next year hungry for a title.

Norms Salvage 2nd game, Earn Split

2005-06-28T20:31:00.000-07:00

June 28th -- The Norms continued their hitting hangover in the first game of a doubleheader and then came back in the nightcap to salvage a split and move their record on the year to 6-8. The Dirty Dozen built a 6-0 lead early and coasted to a 14-7 win in the opener. The Norms took a while to get their hitting stroke back, not scoring until the 4th inning and then adding 4 runs in the 5th and a pair of runs in the 7th. The bottom of the order came thru large in the opener, accounting for 5 runs and 7 hits. Tim Jorgensen and his plain white tshirt led the way, going 3 for 3 with a triple and and an RBI in what was easily his best game as a Norm. Arthur Kennedy Jay Gregerson and Jim Beach each chipped in with a hit and Beach and Kennedy notched one RBI apiece. The game was never really close as the Norms were missing a handful of regulars and had a couple of people playing out of position. Gregerson did a great job filling in at first base for the late working Jeff Johnson and Jorgensen was as hot as the night was., smoking the ball all over the park. It wasnt quite enough as the top 5 hitters combined to go 7 for 17, with 3 of those hits belonging to Aaron Wright. A very disappointing performance in the first ot two.
The Norms started off hot in the second game, putting up 6 runs in the first inning and then holding on for an 8-5 victory over the Strokes. Aaron Wright led a gaggle of players with two hits in the nightcap. That group included Craig Parrucci, Eric Harre, Brent Anderson, and Arthur Kennedy. Kennedy had 2 RBI on a fly ball double and Brandon Butorac collected 2 RBI on a sharp single in the 6 run first. The Norms were pretty solid defensively in both games, turning 2 double plays and benefitting from a sliding catch from Anderson with 2 runners in scoring position with 2 out in the second game. Jorgensen was the player of the night with 4 hits. The Norms are back in action on July 12th.

NO WAY!! Winless Bombers stun Norms!!!

2005-06-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

June 21st -- The Norms embarrassed themselves before many coworkers, family members, kids and a couple of dogs on Tuesday night as they bowed to the then-winless Bombers 6-4. Both teams were awful at that plate and neither team contributed any semblance of offense on this glorious first night of summer. The Norms scraped together a 3 spot in the 5th inning and added a single run in the 7th for their grand total of 4 runs. Jeff Johnson collected two hits and 3 RBI. Nobody else hit for dick!! The loss dropped the Norms to 5-7 on the year and the losing streak has reached 3 games.
This punchless performance is sure to lead to some behind the back giggles at the office and open criticism from the wives and kids. This has to be one of the rock bottom worst performances by ANY Norms team ever!

Norms - dazed and confused - get swept!!

2005-06-22T19:46:00.000-07:00

June 14th -- Nothing went right !!!! The Norms were de-nutted in both ends of a doubleheader on Tuesday night, losing 14-7 to Coopers and 21-18 to Valley Lounge/MHC. There were a handful of misplays by a normally reliable unnamed outfielder and some balls kicked around in the infield. Mix in some untimely hitting and a backwards K and that leads to a miserable night of ball on a dreary summer night. Ouch!! The Norms dropped to 5-6 on the year and fell to the middle of the pack. The Norms face the winless Bombers next week on fan appreciation night!

Norms win 5th in row - now in hunt!!

2005-06-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

(June 7th) - The Norms rallied for 8 runs in the top of the 5th inning and then held on late for their 5th consecutive victory, a 10-9 nailbiter over the Valley Lounge Orioles. The win avenged an opening night, 21-7 loss to the O's and inched the Norms closer to first place in the Eagan Tuesday night D league. "It was all about timely hitting and solid Defense" said an exuberant Coach Wright. Wright was referring to the 8 run 5th and inning ending assists from outfielders Derek Willis and Brent Anderson, the latter coming after a catch in medium right field with the bases loaded in the 4th inning. Willis also made a diving catch to end the 4th inning. The night's biggest moment came from 40 year old journeyman Jim Beach, who laced a huge 2 out pinch hit double down the left field line that plated two runs in the monstrous 5th inning. Beach, who had been struggling at the plate and was forced out of the first game of a twinbill last week with sore quadriceps, described the moment "I just waited on the pitch and went out and got it - man it feels good coming off the one game disabled list and contributing".
Eric Harre and Willis led the Norms with 3 hits apiece. Anderson, Brian Marx, Brandon Butorac, Craig Parucci and Ryan McCausland each had a pair of hits. The Norms are back in action next week with a doubleheader in prime time, looking to avenge early season losses to Cooper's and Valley Lounge MHC. See you at the park!

Stats Coming Soon

2005-06-01T19:38:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned - Norms 2005 Stats are coming soon!! Check back

Norms Sweep, go to 4-4 on Season

2005-06-01T19:09:00.000-07:00

5/31 - The Norms rode some hot hitting in the first game and blended in some stellar defense in both games to earn a doubleheader sweep at Northview Park on a beautiful late spring night. The victories were the 3rd and 4th wins in a row and pushed the Norms record to 4-4, one game out of the win column in the Eagan Tuesday D League.
The Norms were never challenged in the first game as they had their way with the Strokes while cruising to a convincing 16-3 victory. Newly signed Derek Willis led the charge with 3 hits and a career high 6 RBI. Eric Harre had 3 hits and 3 RBI after a brief one week holdout and missed a homerun by the narrowest of margins. Craig Parrucci had 3 hits and 2 RBI. Grisled vet Todd Schneiderhan pitched out of a couple of jams to earn the victory.
In the second game, the Norms avenged one of their 4 losses on the season by easily handling Perrier Liquors, 12-5. Perrier jumped out to an early 4-0 lead in the top of the 1st, but would score only once the rest of the way as the Norms D took over, turning in 2 double plays and nearly a triple play to end the game. As it stood, 1B Jeff Johnson made a tumbling over the shoulder catch in foul territory as he rolled into the chain linked fence to end game and send the Norms to their 4th straight victory. On offense, Johnson snapped out of a season long funk as he smacked 2 singles and rumbled to a triple while collecting 4 RBI and the game ball. "my wrist finally feels healthy and Im gonna hit like that every game, but I dont like running bases" said an exhausted but very satisfied Johnson after game two. Brian Marx finally got hot, smoking two doubles off the fence and scoring 3 runs. The Norms also got inside the park solo home runs from speedsters Craig Parrucci and Derek Willis. "I think Craig could take Derek in a foot race" said coach Mike Wright "but it would be awfully close". TSnide smoked a long solo home run ove the leftcenter field fence. The Norms are back in action next week as they look for their 5th consecutive victory. It wont come easy as they take on the Valley Lounge Orioles. The Orioles schooled the Norms 21-7 in week 1.

Norms add 2 more vets to roster

2005-06-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

5/31 - The Norms signed legend Todd Schneiderhan aka TSnide for part time duty for the remainder of the season. He has been officially added to the roster and will play only when needed. TSnide is a seasoned vet on some very good old time Norms Teams, including the 2002 World Champion team.

The Norms also signed speedy athlete and OF Derek Willis to a regular player contract for the rest of the season . Willis has agreed to become a full time player and looks forward helping the Norms contend for the Eagan league title.

Norms win again

2005-06-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

5/24 - The Norms built up an 11 run lead early and then had to come from behind late to defeat the Dirty Dozen. 3B Lance Wuollet singled in the go ahead run in the bottom of the 6th and the Norms held on in the 7th and escaped with a one run victory, 21-20. SS Craig Parucci continued his hot hitting, going 4 for 5 with 6 RBI. Newly signed Bruce Werner smacked a homerun in his first Norms at bat of the season and drove in 3 runs in the game. OF Ryan McCausland had 3 hits and 3 RBI. The Norms built an 11 run lead in the 4th inning, but the Dirty Dozen fought back to take the lead at 20-17 before the Norms rallied in the 6th for their second straight win to climb to 2-4 on the season. The Norms are back in action with a doubleheader next week.

Norms ink Werner for 5/24 game

2005-05-24T13:07:00.000-07:00

Old time Norm P Bruce Werner has been inked to a one game contract for the 5/24 game. "I'm going in with an open mind, I haven't played much this year, is there gonna be any wives/girlfriends there in case my one yr old gets antsy". It was later written into the contract that someone would be there to watch over Brew's kid.

Norms Split

2005-05-24T11:53:00.000-07:00

The Norms came out with their hitting shoes on in the first game of a doubleheader, but ultimately came up short at the end of a hard fought, blood and guts softball game at Lex-Diffley Fields. Valley Lounge/MHC scored 3 in the bottom of the 7th and pulled out a 20-19 victory to keep the 2005 Norms winless. Although it was the Norms best overall performance of the young season, they couldn't help but be frustrated with the outcome. P Eric Harre and 2B Aaron Wright led the hit parade for the Norms with 4 hits apiece and Wright added 3 RBI. OF Brent Anderson chipped in with 3 hits and 3 RBI and SS Craig Parucci continued his hot hitting with with 3 RBI. Arthur Kennedy scored 4 runs for the Norms. "Tough, gut wrenching game - we just keep finding ways to lose" said a disgruntled coach Wright. Rumors continue that his head is on the chopping block after one of the slowest starts in Norms history.
The second game of the doubleheader was just as dramatic as the first, but with a different outcome. The Norms scored a run in the bottom of the 8th as Craig Parrucci trotted home from 3rd base on Eric Harre's long fly ball to snap a 7-7 tie and give the Norms their first victory of the season. The Bombers tied it up with 2 runs in the 7th, but the Norms played some D and sealed the deal in extra frames. Parrucci and Harre did most of the damage at the plate for the Norms once again. Parrucci collected 3 more hits to raise his season avg to a team leading .684. He also scored 3 more runs to push his season total to 11, far and away the best on the team. Harre, meanwhile, added 3 hits and is batting .666 for the year. OF Ryan McCausland continued to impress both at the plate and in the outfield. He smoked a pair of singles and a double and is now hitting a robust .643 on the yr. He also added two more very impressive outfield assists to increase his league leading total to 4 for the yr. "Ryan has the best OF arm I've seen since Theo" said fellow OF Brent Anderson - referring to early 90's Norm Tom Theobald.
The Norms play a single game at 7pm on May 24th at Northview 7

Norms Lose - AGAIN

2005-05-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

The Norms started off like gangbusters, scoring 3 times in the first inning. The bats went silent after that, however and the Norms dropped their 3rd consecutive game by a score of 8-5 to Coopers Bar. Coopers got 5 in the 3rd inning and 3 in the 4th to take an 8-3 lead. Six of Coopers runs came with 2 outs. The Norms scraped 2 runs together in the 6th but were unable to get any closer. "The d was solid, but the bats need to wake up" a visibly frustrated coach Wright murmured after the game. The Norms were led by SS rookie phenom Craig Parrucci, P Eric Harre and 1B Jeff Johnson with 2 hits each. The Norms have a doubleheader next week at Lexington Diffley fields and hope to get off the schnide.

Norms play like boys, drop a pair!

2005-05-09T15:23:00.000-07:00

The Norms started off the 2005 season by dropping both ends of a doubleheader.
In the opener, the Norms led Perrier Liquors virtually the entire way despite silent bats after the 2nd inning. Holding a comfortable 6 run lead in the bottom of the sixth, they surrendered 8 runs on a combination of hits and errors and trailed by 2 going into the last frame. The Norms were able to tie the game back up in the 7th, but went down with ease in the bottom of the inning on a walk and consecutive singles by Perrier. The final was 11-10. Norms was led by speedy SS Craig Parucci with 3 hits and hustle all over. Tim Jorgensen and Brent Anderson chipped in with a couple of hits each. "We were hampered by our poor hitting and even worse defense in the right side of the OF" a dejected coach Mike Wright mumbled. "We should've won, we just quit hitting".
The nightcap was a different story. The Valley Lounge Orioles opened up a large lead and won easily 21-7. Parucci and P Eric Harre led the Norms with a couple of hits each. A bright spot was the fielding of Harre, who made some dandy scoops and did very well with his glove as well as his bat. "that young man may be the best fielding pitcher I've ever seen" was a quote heard from severall Valley team members. Another bright spot was the cannon arm of LCF Ryan McCausland. He gunned down two Valley runners - one trying to advance from 1st to 3rd on a single and another runner was caught napping off 2nd base after McCausland made a nice grab in medium LCF.

The Norms return to action on May 10th with a 7pm game against Cooper on Northview Field 7.

Schedule Released

2005-04-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

The 2005 version of the NORMS will kick of the season Tuesday, May 3rd at Northview Park Field #4 with a doubleheader. They will take on Perrier Wines and Liquor at 8pm as the visiting team and follow that up with a 9pm tilt with the Valley Lounge Orioles. All fans are welcome to attend. The NORMS are excited to get the season underway!

Recruiting 2005

2005-04-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Calling all Norms! Coach Brent "Rocky" Anderson wants you to play for the Norms in 2005. The team will be playing on Tuesday Nights in the Eagan D Leagues at Northview Fields. We want to hear from any former Norm who is interested in playing. Also, we'd like to hear from our Viking Tailgater corps, so we are calling out Marxie and any of the New Wave Rollers who might be interested in joining the squad. Please e-mail Coach Brent ASAP!

Norms History Lesson

2005-03-10T07:13:00.000-08:00

From Rag Tag Bar Hounds to State Champions. According the Seniors Softball League web-page (and really, what better authority could there be?) the game we now know as softball was invented by Minneapolis Fire Captain Louis Rober in 1895 (it's kind of nice to know that softball was created in Minnesota!) Back then the game of softball was played with a 16-inch ball to help the members of the fire station keep fit. He called the sport Kittenball.
Officially founded almost a century later in 1989, the Norms were once just a bunch of "rag-tag single-guy bar hounds" who worked in the same department at a large corporation and thought it would be cool to start playing softball together. Staying in shape was optional, as the the team was founded on the premise "drink to win and win to drink." The idea of showing up to play softball as an excuse to chug a few beers with co-workers turned out to be a good one. It wasn't long before the players discovered that they could actually play the game of softball.
As time went on, player's lives settled. They married, moved on to other jobs in other parts of the country and softball became less of a priority. Every year it seemed somebody would leave, but there would always be other "new jacks" to replace them. The team evolved. Now every year like an annual rite spring, the team management scours the resume's of the new hirees of their various departments, and adds to a winning team's roster. The Norms have lived this way for over 12-years and will continue on for many more. Each year is unique and each team has included a cast of characters and champions that make the Norms one of 's finest traditions in Minnesota's long softball history. In this section you can read all about the teams from the past and see pictures of the guys (and gals) who have played for the Norms or on one of their spinoff teams.
Historic Time Line
1987: Scrimmages and Disorientation
1988: The Official West Franchise Granted
1989: A Playoff Run: Now Open Under New Management
1990: The Pillars are Added & Attitudes Shift
1991: Miracle on Duluth and Case
1992: Return to Mediocrity
1993: A Season on the Brink, The Legend Steps Down
1994: Baseball Strikes, Norms Mission to Claim '94 World Series
1995: Upsets Ruin Year as Norm's Fail in a Pig's Eye
1996: Down in the Valley Lounge, Up in the Standings
1997: Re-Peat After Me, A Dynasty Emerges
1998: THREE-Peat After Me, The Dominance Obvious
1999: The Big BIG Time! Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
2000: West League Conquered Again but Divided Norms Fall
2001: The Perfect Team Wins the State Title Again!
2002: World Champions: Older Faster Stronger
2003: A League Title Here, Another Tie There, and 2nd Place at State
2004: Last Legs: The Norms Finally win Savage League
2005: The Next Generation, Future Untold

QWEST NORMS?

2005-03-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

After an off-season of the unknown future, it looks like the Norms will be alive for another season. Veteran Norm Brent "Rocky" Anderson has stepped up and gone on a recruiting binge within his place of employment (Qwest in St. Paul).

The Norms will most likely be playing on Tuesday Nights in the Eagan, MN open leagues on Northview fields

"Tuesday night Mens D East is our first choice. I have all the stuff and I need to get it in first thing next Monday morning," commented the new skipper.

This year's team will be as close to the OLD SCHOOL Norms as possible.

"We'll do it up right, added Anderson, I have no idea how good we'll be. I know there are a few rooks, but a couple of ringers too. We have an experienced 3B, an experienced P and a ringer in the OF that the 3B is bringing with him."

The new Norms will be announced during Spring Training '05, but might be joined by veterans Chris Willaert, Ryan Hollum and Dave Heupel.

"Any vet is welcome to come back, and we have few interested if they can work out deals with their agents (wives) and busy schedules (tee times)."

Eckert & Willaert are Hall of Fame Bound

2005-03-04T11:09:00.000-08:00

Keith Willaert and Mike Eckert will make up the Norms Hall of Fame class of 2005.
Willaert, the Norm's second-baseman for over a decade was the catalyst to millions of Norms rallies. Nobody ever hit to right-field beter. He will be inducted into the Norms Hall of Fame this summer. A reunion with several players and possible golf-outing/ beer bash at the Valley Lounge will be announced soon. Keiths bobblehead and commemorative Hall of Fame t-shirt will be available soon.

The Norms MVP of their first state championship, Mike Eckert will join Keith Willaert in the Norms Hall of Fame class of '05. Nicknamed "Hurt", Eckert would often make ESPN Highlight-reel like plays, diving to the ground at 3rd Baseman and gunning players out from his knees. The most jaw-dropping of these came in '99 State Championship Playoffd, when Hurt's play prompted the opposing team to chant the Sports Center theme song.

WANTED: NEW MINNESOTA BLOOD TO CARRY ON THE LEGACY!

2004-10-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

The Norms wesbite, team name, and legacy are up for grabs. If you are Minnesota softball team, and want to become the Norms, please contact Mookie

e-NORM-us Softballs VHS & DVD Available

2004-04-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

It's Ready! Order Now

That's right Normies, the much anticipated final version of Norm's Reality DVD experience is now available! The DVD includes a historical perspective on the Norm's franchise and it's evolution into World Champions in 1992. Several music videos are inlcuded which feature a unique on-deck perspective of what it's like to be a member of this storied softball franchise. You are right on the bench during championship games. In truth, it's kind of a cool presentation but you can tell that the project was put together by amateur filmakers.

Of course the DVD shows the famous triple play from last season (see below), and includes several home-run bombs by almost everyone except T-Snide(sorry man).

The Bad News Porn Stars: Adult Stars badly beatin' in Week 2 of CoEd Softball

2004-01-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

Now, here is some competition for the Norms:
Adult Stars badly beatin' in Week 2 of CoEd Softball

--Wayne C. Lewis
BURBANK, CA - There were no protests at the Burbank softball fields on Sunday regarding the Porn Stars Softball Team or the numbers on the back of their jerseys. The only negative jeers present were those of players on the team as the KSEXradio.com sponsored team looked, if it's even possible, worse then the Bad News Bears in their 13-3 loss Sunday.

After losing star female player, Shayne Eastin in the first inning to a fractured hand, not only did team play slide rapidly downhill, nearly every other player on the team left the game with some kind of injury. Katie Morgan strained an upper thigh muscle, Amber Lynn had hamstring issues, Mike Santos pulled a groin muscle and a few others received minor ailments.

"It's the kind of game where you just want to lay down in the outfield and give up," Team manager, Wankus said. "But you can't. It's softball. Any little thing can turn the game around and put you back in it. That just didn't happen for us this week."

Without taking anything away from the opponent, "The Ballers," the team as a whole was dropping balls, fumbling and stumbling in the field and aside from a few scattered glory at-bats, the hitting wasn't very impressive either.

The Porn Stars are 1 and 1 now and have next week off for the Superbowl. Game 3 is at 4:45pm, February 8th at Olive Field in Burbank.

The Norms Triple Play Photo Montage

2003-06-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

The Norms have turned 3 Triple Plays in team history. In June of 2003, Norm's shortstop Dave Rysavy completed the only unassisted Triple Play in Norms history. We were luck to capture the entire thing on film, and below are the screenshots to demonstrate the feat.